As Alice Marie Agyeman reaches the milestone of her 80th birthday, she reflects on the values that have been the foundation of her life: simplicity, integrity, humility, and dignity. These values have guided her through both joys and struggles, shaping her worldview and her interactions with the people and challenges around her. They are more than principles; they are the essence of who Alice is.
Simplicity – Living Authentically
Unfolding the newly sewn kaba and slit, a fifteen-year-old Alice-Marie couldn’t hide her dismay. What was the seamstress thinking when she sewed such an extravagant kaba style? In her head, she wondered who was supposed to wear that outfit. Her? She wasn’t cut out for such fancy styles at all; they made her look ridiculous.
Simplicity was her guiding principle. She never sought to keep up with fashion trends or live extravagantly. Of course, she found it amusing when models strutted on the catwalk in outlandish and brazen outfits, but that was not her style. She preferred to stay simple and true to herself, which kept her at ease and helped her reject the noise of the world in favour of authenticity and peace.
And ridiculous she felt when the day came to wear the uncomfortable kaba. There she was, trying to make herself as inconspicuous as possible as she went about her business, but it seemed to her as if all eyes were on her. That, in itself, was another issue, because she thought attention would be drawn to her flaws.
Flaws? You might wonder, especially if you were one of her students from her 1980s Holy Child days. The stunning, prim, and proper headmistress of the Catholic girls’ school, whom the girls beheld in awe, had anything but flaws!
But only Alice knew what she had gone through during her formative years. It wasn’t uncommon for a random family member to call her and say, “Why are you so ugly?” “Why do you look so much like a boy?” or “Don’t you see how handsome your younger brother, Ernest, is?”
Not that it bothered her much; after all, she felt proud of her handsome brother. But the remarks left an indelible imprint in her mind. She did not think herself beautiful, and if someone complimented her, she took it with a pinch of salt, a sentiment that has persisted to this day. She recalled a recent incident when a friend jokingly told her, “Alice, you’re more beautiful than I am.” With her usual wit, she responded, “Rubbish, that’s not true.”
Integrity – Living with Truth
If simplicity was one of her characteristics, then it was closely followed by integrity. Years later, as headmistress of the prestigious Holy Child Girls’ School, Alice would look steadily into the eyes of many a desperate parent (who had driven all the way to Cape Coast, laden with expensive gifts to try to secure places for their daughters at the school) and shake her head in disapproval before saying, “No.” Their children had not met the school’s cut-off marks, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. No payment would sway her.
That was the way she had been taught to grow: to show integrity. It has been her moral compass. To her, integrity is more than just avoiding dishonesty—it’s about living in complete truth, ensuring that your “yes” means yes and your “no” means no. This commitment to truth has kept her life simple and free from the complications that arise from deception or double standards.
Alice’s belief in integrity is also influenced by her deep Catholic faith, particularly the cardinal virtues: prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude. For her, prudence—the ability to make wise decisions—has been crucial. In moments of uncertainty, when the right path wasn’t clear, she would call upon the Holy Spirit to guide her decision-making. This ability to choose what is right and good, even when it’s difficult, has defined her approach to life.
In both her public and personal life, Alice has always rejected any form of bribery or corruption, believing that integrity means living an exemplary life, free from dishonesty, and standing up for what is right—even when it’s hard. As a leader, she ensured that everyone under her care understood her expectations of truthfulness and righteousness. For Alice, there is no room for compromise when it comes to integrity.
Humility – Trusting in Divine Guidance
The year was 2021, and there was 76-year-old Alice, having her bath, relishing the sweet-smelling scent of the liquid soap as she prepared to attend Easter Monday Mass. Turning to reposition herself, she felt a small twist in her knee, and crash! There she was on the floor of the bathtub. Straining against the bath, she tried to stand, but she couldn’t. Placing both hands on the side of the tub, she tried once more but still couldn’t get up. “Dear Holy Spirit, please help me,” she whispered desperately. Suddenly, a spark of energy, and she was up, finishing her bath and off to the service. In fact, it wasn’t until communion time that she realised she couldn’t walk properly on one leg. Moments like these reaffirmed her faith—the Holy Spirit was her rock in times of difficulty.
As a devout Catholic, humility is another hallmark of Alice’s character. For her, humility goes beyond modesty—it means complete trust and dependence on God. It isn’t about being subservient to others but about recognising that all strength, guidance, and wisdom come from the Holy Spirit. Her faith has been her constant companion through both life’s most challenging moments and its simple, everyday tasks.
Her relationship with God permeates her daily life. Even in small, everyday challenges, such as dealing with recurring constipation, she turns to the Holy Spirit. When relief finally comes, she whispers, “Thank you, Holy Spirit, now I’m free!” It is this quiet trust in divine guidance that has carried her through eight decades; this recognition that every victory and every moment of peace come from God’s grace.
Dignity – Earning Respect Through Values
Today, even at the age of eighty, as she sits on her beautiful, flower-filled front porch and reflects on her life, she recalls the whispers and comments made behind her back in the past when it appeared to others that she was distant, hostile, or thought too highly of herself because she was living a life of principles. She smiles. She is content with a life well lived, dignified and respectable, for time has proven that she chose the right path.
Dignity has been at the heart of how Alice carries herself. She believes that when you live in alignment with your values, you earn respect—not just from others but from yourself. Some people may have perceived her as distant or unrelatable because of her commitment to her principles. But she never saw it that way. To her, it was about living with self-respect and honouring her core beliefs.
Over the years, she has learnt the importance of standing firm in her values. She is diplomatic, but she doesn’t sugar-coat the truth. She never agrees to something just to please others. By being honest, even when it’s uncomfortable, she has avoided many unnecessary complications in life. She believes that true dignity comes from resisting temptations that go against your principles and ensuring that your actions always align with what is right.
Her sense of dignity isn’t about being rigid or detached. It’s about staying grounded in her values, no matter what life throws her way. This commitment has allowed her to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace, always knowing that she stayed true to herself.
